Ode to Viagra?

I do not usually post the work of another on my blog, but this poetic piece caught my eye. It is by Bernard de Silva, a writer from “down under” who is a member of one of my writer’s groups. Enjoy!

“My mate has this major problem…
I’ve an impediment in my speech”

Now there’s this mate of mine with a problem,
of tissue malfunction so you see.
So that’s a mate, has this erectile malfunction,
now don’t ever think, that it is me.

Now there is nothing said on the Viagra packet,
no printed warning for this bloke,
So he pops one, then it gets stuck in his throat,
crikey, what changes pills evoke.

Course this bloke’s neck, goes stiff and swollen,
that’s how Viagra works I surmise.
‘Cause you must understand I don’t really know,
it was this ol’ mate got the surprise.

So there’s not enough skin left to close your eyes,
you can’t talk, and you can’t blink.
So this bloke’s shiela, I’m glad she’s his not mine,
she just can’t figure what to think.

I mean this bloke was whispering sweet nothings,
waiting, so as to not upset the boat.
Then he’s goes all stiff necked so he can’t tell her,
that the only action’s in the throat.

Says on the packet, swallow shortly before required,
effects are satisfying, and prolonged.
Now this ol’ mate reckons they most likely would be,
if they reached where they belonged.

So enhancement does not reach the required region,
the desired effect seems totally restricted.
” Little soldier fellow”, remains soft as marsh mellow,
the neck grows turgid, speech constricted.

I can’t converse on the matter of health or condition
but it’s my mate that has the dread affliction.
I have no problems, but some how, for the moment,
my neck’s giving me trouble, with my diction.

©Copyright : Bernard de Silva. 25.10.05.

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