Archive for August, 2011

The Three Little Pigs

August 15, 2011

The big bad wolf was chasing the three little pigs, yet again. Actually, this was a different wolf since the original one was boiled to death in the third pig’s house of brick. Thinking that they were safe, the three little pigs neglected to consider the possibility that there might be other wolves in the forest and were caught completely by surprise when a new wolf jumped out of the bushes looking for dinner.
“Look!” cried the first little pig. “A house. Maybe we’ll be safe there until the wolf goes away.
“Good idea,” agreed the second little pig.
“Less talk, more running,” urged the third little pig.
The three little pigs managed, barely, to get into the house and slam the door before the wolf could catch them.
“What if he huffs, and puffs, and blows this house down?” asked the first little pig.
“Ha!” laughed the second little pig. “Listen to him wheezing and coughing out there.”
“I think he’s a smoker,” observed the third little pig.
Now that they were safe, the three little pigs decided to explore their temporary haven.
“Look,” exclaimed the first little pig. “Three bowls of porridge.”
“Look,” exclaimed the second little pig. “Three chairs near a fire place.”
“Look,” exclaimed the third little pig. “Three beds.”
So, the three little pigs ate the porridge, sat in the chairs and, eventually, took a nap in the beds.
Outside, the wolf waited patiently for the three little pigs to come out. He had tried huffing and puffing and blowing the house down, but his three pack a day habit just made him cough and wheeze. After a while, the owners of the home returned from their walk and noticed that they had a visitor.
“Whatcha want,” asked Pappa Bear.
“I was chasing three little pigs and they ran into that house,” explained the wolf.
“Dammit!” roared Pappa Bear. “First that blonde kid and now pigs.”
“I told you to put a new lock on that door,” said Mamma Bear.
“Are we having sausage with our porridge?” asked Baby Bear.
“Damn straight,” growled Pappa Bear as he marched up to the door and pushed it off of it’s hinges. The three bears ran into the house to confront the trespassers.
As the bears went after the three little pigs, the wolf, being a neighborly sort, put the door back up on its hinges and locked it. Moments later he heard the sounds of running, squealing, and pounding on the door, then all was silent. Moments later, the door opened and Pappa Bear handed the wolf a large sack.
“Mamma Bear packed you a lunch to say thanks. I hope cold pork is okay.”
“Why, thank-you, good sir.” The wolf accepted the sack and walked back into the woods. After a leisurely meal the wolf thought that some dessert would be nice.
Moments later, a young girl in a red hood and cape came by with a picnic basket.

Well, you know where this is headed…

Just for fun.

Der Wolf