Archive for April, 2013

And the winner is…

April 6, 2013

The last man on Earth sat alone in his room. There was a knock on the door. The man was so surprised he dropped his bottled water. With a mix of trepidation and hope, he grasped the knob and pulled the door open.
There was a crowd of curiously dressed people. Men and women and…things…all gathered together looking at him with concern on their faces. They were very tall and beautiful looking. Something about them radiated power. They seemed to be more than mere mortals.
“Can I help you?” asked the man.
“Are you Malcolm Burton?” asked the man dressed in a toga with long red hair and a fiery beard.
“Yes. I am Malcolm Burton. Or just Mal, for short. Who are you? How did you survive the virus?”
“We are immune to such things, as, apparently, are you,” said the red-bearded man.
“I…don’t know why…or how I was immune,” Mal replied haltingly.
“It is of no import. To answer your first question, I am Zeus Panhellios. With me are Thor Odinson, Buddha, Lugh, Allah, and representatives of all pantheons past and present.”
“Zeus? Thor? Allah?!” Realization struck like a lightning bolt. “You’re all gods?”
“Aye, Malcolm Burton.”
“Our need of thee is great, mortal,” said the bearlike man with a large hammer. Like Zeus, he had red hair and fiery beard.
“You need me? But, you’re Thor, right? That guy over there is, uh, Shiva, right? What could I do that you couldn’t do for yourselves?”
“Our kind has been at odds with each other for millennia, drawing power from our worshippers,” explained Zeus. “We cannot do direct battle, for the energy unleashed would destroy all of reality and more. Thus, it is our followers who war in our names.”
“So long as we do possess a single worshipper, we do thrive,” added Thor. “With the passing of that last believer, we cease to have reason to exist.”
“And that is why we need you, Malcolm Burton, last living man on Earth,” said Allah.
“I still don’t understand.” Mal tried to take a step back but his legs were frozen in place. “What do you want from me?”
“We want you to tell us who won.”

Just for fun

Wolf not ranting.