Religious Wrong

If you follow televised religious shows like the 700 or the Religious Right you get inundated with a lot of talk about what is right and wrong according to this that or some other evangelical type who claim to know the mind of God. Personally, I can think of no greater arrogance that to say you know what is in God’s plan. Seriously, do they5 have Him friended on Facebook? Maybe they Twiffer each other back and forth? Or, and this is what I find most likely, do they just voice their own opinion and claim it is God speaking through them.

I’ll take door number three, Bob!

Normally I ignore the nattering of TV preachers. I give them as much credit as an unmedicated schizophrenic. Not just for their hypocrisy, and there is loads of that, but because they tend to find the devil in every little detail.

Let us start with the hypocrisy. Jimmy Swaggart. He tells people day in and day out how to live in God’s grace, then gets implicated in a sex scandal after he points the finger at Marvin Gorman for much the same indiscretions.

Jim Baker fleeced his followers for millions!

I won’t even get into the Catholic Church’s problems with pedophiliac priests since that is not my focus here, and everybody is well informed on that issue, anyway.

Now, I could go on and on in this vein, but I think I will address the latest round of absolute ignorance on the part of the religious right. Kevin Swanson and Steve Vaughn.

Birds of a feather flock together, and these are two very bird-brained individuals indeed! Swanson and Vaughn attacked Disney’s ‘Frozen’ as a satanic push to turn kids gay. Even claimed that Satan was using it to turn Swanson’s 5 year old into a lesbian.

I watched the movie. Only three main female characters, one of which, the mother, dies about ten minutes into the movie leaving the other two, sisters, alone. So, do these sisters engage in incestuous experimentation? Nope. The elder sister closets (not that kind of closet) herself away from her younger sister for fear of harming her. HOW HORRIFYING! Oh, wait, no, just tragic that they are forced to grow apart because of something neither can control. In fact, they barely even touch for the majority of the movie.

Hmmm…Okay, it must be the male characters behaving improperly. The foreign prince who tries to marry the younger sister is certainly a bad example for…no, he is a guy and she is a girl. That can’t be it. So the ice miner and the prince must have something going on the side. Hmmm…no, they don’t get along, actually. The prince wants the younger princess to steal her throne and the ice miner, whom initially finds the girl troublesome, eventually takes a romantic interest in her.

Not seeing the Satanic agenda here, folks. Maybe the princess is a cross dresser? The ice miner a closet hair stylist? The prince a…well, he was just a douche. No getting around that.

Just what the hell did Swanson and Vaughn see in the movie to attack it, then? Let’s go to the instant replay.

Swanson: Man, how many children are taken into these things and how many Christians are taking their kids off to see the movie Frozen, produced by an organization that is probably one of the most pro-homosexual organizations in the country? You wonder sometimes, I’m not a tinfoil hat conspiratorialist, but you wonder sometimes if maybe there’s something very evil happening here. If I was the Devil, what would I do to really foul up an entire social system and do something really, really, really evil to 5- and 6- and 7-year-olds in Christian families around America?

Vaughn: I would make a movie.

Swanson: I would buy Disney. If I was the Devil, I would buy Disney in 1984, that’s what I would have done.

Vaughn: Then you would start making all these nice little movies that throw little things in there that make sin look enticing, in fact some of the worst of sins, make it look enticing or at least to start to indoctrinate slowly, turn the heat up on the frog in the pan.

Swanson: Friends, this is evil, just evil. I wonder if people are thinking: “You know I think this cute little movie is going to indoctrinate my 5-year-old to be a lesbian or treat homosexuality or bestiality in a light sort of way.” I wonder if the average parent going to see Frozen is thinking that way. I wonder if they are just walking in and saying, “Yeah, let’s get my five-year-old and seven-year-old indoctrinated early.” You know they’re not, I think for the most part they’re oblivious. Maybe they do pick up on pieces of it but they just don’t get up and walk out.

Maybe I am a little thick, but I don’t see one single example of the Satanic agenda being identified. What I do see is a couple of homophobic bigots who need to double up on the tin-foil in their hats.

Everyday more and more evidence points to homosexuality as something you were born with. People don’t chose it, it chooses them. And a couple of religious dumbasses who are probably wrestling with their own sexuality don’t change that.

Frankly, I think this is just another grab for attention. A pretty slick one, too, really. If Disney tries to sue these ass-holes for libel, they risk annoying the LGBT community as well as the Religious Wrong. So Disney has to sit back and take it and wait for it to blow over.

Wolf Rant


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