And the winner is…

April 6, 2013

The last man on Earth sat alone in his room. There was a knock on the door. The man was so surprised he dropped his bottled water. With a mix of trepidation and hope, he grasped the knob and pulled the door open.
There was a crowd of curiously dressed people. Men and women and…things…all gathered together looking at him with concern on their faces. They were very tall and beautiful looking. Something about them radiated power. They seemed to be more than mere mortals.
“Can I help you?” asked the man.
“Are you Malcolm Burton?” asked the man dressed in a toga with long red hair and a fiery beard.
“Yes. I am Malcolm Burton. Or just Mal, for short. Who are you? How did you survive the virus?”
“We are immune to such things, as, apparently, are you,” said the red-bearded man.
“I…don’t know why…or how I was immune,” Mal replied haltingly.
“It is of no import. To answer your first question, I am Zeus Panhellios. With me are Thor Odinson, Buddha, Lugh, Allah, and representatives of all pantheons past and present.”
“Zeus? Thor? Allah?!” Realization struck like a lightning bolt. “You’re all gods?”
“Aye, Malcolm Burton.”
“Our need of thee is great, mortal,” said the bearlike man with a large hammer. Like Zeus, he had red hair and fiery beard.
“You need me? But, you’re Thor, right? That guy over there is, uh, Shiva, right? What could I do that you couldn’t do for yourselves?”
“Our kind has been at odds with each other for millennia, drawing power from our worshippers,” explained Zeus. “We cannot do direct battle, for the energy unleashed would destroy all of reality and more. Thus, it is our followers who war in our names.”
“So long as we do possess a single worshipper, we do thrive,” added Thor. “With the passing of that last believer, we cease to have reason to exist.”
“And that is why we need you, Malcolm Burton, last living man on Earth,” said Allah.
“I still don’t understand.” Mal tried to take a step back but his legs were frozen in place. “What do you want from me?”
“We want you to tell us who won.”

Just for fun

Wolf not ranting.


Right To Work

March 28, 2013

Let me be clear right up front that I do not like Gov. Schnyder. I think he is bad for Michigan and will bring the state down eventually. He actually makes me nostalgic for the days of Granholm and that is just bad beyond belief.

That said, I could admit that even a broken clock is right twice a day, and this is a very broken clock indeed. The new Michigan law “Right to Work” is the correct action to take. Oh, sure, the Unions are outraged. Of course they are. Now they cannot edge out competitive bids by non-union companies. Well, actually, that was not really something they could legally do anyway. I used to work security on a site where the bid had been won by a non-union company, for about a quarter of what the Union would have charged, so I was there to keep “accidents” from happening at night. Oh, yes, such accidents do happen and you can believe that somebody in a union was behind it.

It used to be that Unions were necessary to protect the worker from the big employers that could get away with almost anything. Nobody likes to admit how mobbed up many of these unions are, of course. I know that numbers rackets were being run in automotive plants, for example. The problem now is that we need protection from the unions themselves.

Oh, sure, they claim that it will bring everybody down. Everybody should have the protection of the union. Well, some people can’t get into the oh so precious unions. Others may not want to give their own hard-earned money to a union that doesn’t really do anything for them, or maybe they don’t want to support the criminal organizations behind the unions.

I was for unions when they protected the workers and fought for better conditions and higher pay. I do not support anybody that thinks you have to join them to get a decent job. And, let’s face it, the unions didn’t do jack-shit for the people in Flint.

Let people work whether or not they want to join a union. Not just flipping burgers, which is almost the only kind of job you can get without joining a union anymore.

Wolf rant!

Twinkie Recipe – Take That eBay Scammers!

January 8, 2013

As we all know by now, Hostess bit the big one last year depriving people of Twinkies, Ho-Ho’s, Ding Dongs and a bunch of other high fat/high suger treats. Frankly, I can’t remember the last time I indulged in any of those. Some people, however, can’t seem to take the shock to their system caused by Twinkie withdrawal. Because of this a number of ass-holes on eBay have decided to sell the recipe (or approximation to it) hoping to suck in the unwary thinking that they’re getting a box of the real thing.
Okay, enough is enough. I am going to give that recipe RIGHT HERE for FREE! Take that eBay scammers!

Hostess Twinkie Secret Recipe

you will need:
spice bottle size of twinkie, 10 (12×14 inch ) pieces of aluminum foil ,
cake decorator or pastry bag. and a chopstick

Nonstick spray
4 egg whites one
16-ounce box golden pound cake mix
2/3 cup of water

2 teaspoons of very hot water
1/4 teaspoon of salt
2 cups of marshmallow creme (one 7-ounce jar)
1/2 cup of shortening
1/3 cup of powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon of vanilla

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.

Fold each piece of aluminum foil in half twice. Wrap the folded foil around the spice bottle to create a mold. Leave the top of the mold open for pouring in the batter. Make ten of these molds and arrange them on a cookie sheet or in a shallow pan. Grease the inside of each mold with a light coating of nonstick spray.

Disregard the directions on the box of cake mix. Instead, beat the egg whites until stiff. In a separate bowl combine cake mix with water, and beat until thoroughly blended (about 2 minutes). Fold egg whites into the cake batter and slowly combine until completely mixed.

Pour the batter into the molds, filling each one about 3/4 of an inch. Bake in the preheated oven for 30 minutes, or until the cake is golden brown and a toothpick stuck in the center comes out clean.

For the filling, combine the salt with the hot water in a small bowl and stir until salt is dissolved. Let this mixture cool.

Combine the marshmallow creme, shortening, powdered sugar, and vanilla in a medium bowl and mix well with an electric mixer on high speed until fluffy. Add the salt solution to the filling mixture and combine.

When the cakes are done and cooled, use a skewer or chopstick to make three holes in the bottom of each one. Move the stick around inside of each cake to create space for the filling.

Using a cake decorator or pastry bag, inject each cake with filling through all three holes. Serve & Enjoy 🙂

Makes 10.

And now, I have served my fellow man…wait, wasn’t there a Twilight Zone episode about something like that?

Wolf Strikes Again!

Rasberry Ultra Drops SPAM Scam

January 5, 2013

Rasberry Ultra drops supports SPAM Scams. They break into your e-mail then SPAM everybody you know with their adverts. I have no idea how good a product this might be, and I never will. Anybody who uses this kind of sales tackic is to creooked for me to ever trust. Neither should you.
Consider; they break into your e-mail account by hacking your password, then shoot their bullshit to all of your friends. Now you have to change your password, inform your friends that they may have been hacked as well and report them to your IP.
Nice, huh?
Do not support these ass-holes by buying their questionable product.

Wolf Rant.

Caveat Fuzzy

November 5, 2012

It has been a few months since the sequel to my book Fuzzy Ergo Sum hit the public. It is too soon to speculate on how well it is being received, though my mommy likes it. Actually, I have had a few fans express their appreciation for my work.

Caveat Fuzzy marks the conclusion of my story line started in FES and I do not anticipate doing another Fuzzy book soon. Fuzzies are fun and H. Beam Piper did most of the heavy lifting when he created them, but I want to move on to other projects and establish myself as a writer who can stand on his own. Oddly, first I have to finish my current work on The Hos-Bletha Affair, a collaboration novel with John F. Carr, that is also based on Piper’s work.

Back to CF; I had a lot of fun with the project and enjoyed creating a new tribe of Fuzzies that were slightly different from what Beam wrote about, though I had his originals in there, too. Most of Piper’s Fuzzies had an almost uniformly positive introduction to homo sapiens terra so they tended to like us and do as we asked. Granted, a few had a less than stellar introduction to us, but for the most part they were rescued by good Big Ones and fell into line with the rest.

I took the opposite approach; what if first contact was extremely negative for the natives? Let’s be honest, our history on Earth is replete with one group moving in and taking over another groups land, usually wiping them out in the process; Native Americans, Australian Aborigines and so on. Even Piper wrote about such conflicts in Uller Uprising and alluded to others. Fuzzies being small and cute shouldn’t be counted on to keep them safe. In fact they very nearly faced extinction at the hands of the Chartered Zarathustra Company.

So, I decided to let people see how Fuzzies would react if they felt threatened. Not everybody agrees with my approach. That is to be expected. Nobody can make everybody happy all of the time.

I also took the opportunity to expand on the tech level in the Piperverse. Ever notice that almost everybody drinks and smokes but nobody suffers from lung cancer or liver failure? I explained why that might be without, I hope, overdoing it.

I am going to stop now before I give away any more. I hate spoilers and so, I expect, do you. I hope you will give my book a read. Even more, I hope you will enjoy it.

Wolfgang Diehr

Fuzzy Ergo Sum vs. Fuzzy Nation

September 16, 2012

I have poked around the internet and found that a few people seem to think that I rushed to get my first book, Fuzzy Ergo Sum, to the publisher to beat John Scalzi’s book, Fuzzy Nation, to print. I want to say right now that this is completely untrue. So, I will relay the history of my effort to get my first book published.

Initially, FES was going to be a piece of fanfic written for my own amusement and that of everybody in the Piper-L discussion group. I posted a few excerpts from my attempts there and got some pretty good feedback and some helpful suggestions. One of the areas of contention was my desire to name one of the characters John Carter from Mars Colony. Obviously, this didn’t go over with the group so I changed it to John Morgan.

I worked on the story off and on for the next couple of years, even after returning to college at Wayne State U in Detroit. While in college I took a Creative Writing class under Christopher Leland (1951-2012) and sat quietly while the work I had done thus far was gleefully eviscerated by the class. Anybody who ever took a writing class knows that this is normal. After graduation I became side-tracked with other writing projects. I never completely put FES down, but it was lower on my list of priorities. I wanted to get some of my own original ideas out there.

Then tragedy struck in September of 2008; the Piper-L was disbanded. The moderator, Nathan Brindle, became tired of some of the arguments and infighting between a few of the members and dropped the whole mess into Null Space. Well, I wasn’t about to sit still for that, so I opened Piper-Worlds in Yahoo Groups while David Johnson created the H. Beam Piper List. I was briefly a member on the, then had a falling out with David Johnson and devoted my efforts to the Piper-Worlds group exclusively.

One of the members of the Piper-Worlds was author John F. Carr, Piper’s biographer and author of several sequels to Piper’s Lord Kalvan of Otherwhen. I considered it significant and a good omen that John joined my group. In 2009 he even offered to look over what I had on FES thus far. Quite the thrill for me, really! Well, look it over he did and his first comment was, “I felt the story didn’t really get started until around page 80.”

Page 80. Out of 120 odd pages. I will admit I was a bit crestfallen, but he was quite correct. I spent far too much time on setup and not enough on plot development. So, I started over. I did recycle numerous elements from the previous effort, but I also darkened the tone. I realized it was too Disney. Piper never did that so I wasn’t going to either. That is when I came up with the idea to…hmmmm…no, no spoilers. You’ll have to read it for yourself.

One of the things some of the hard core Piper fans do is get together once a year for the Irregulars Muster. Here we meet up in State College, Pennsylvania then drive out to see such historic places as where Piper lived (some of which are parking lots now, sadly) geographical locations that appeared in his writings, mostly Lord Kalvan, and just talk about Piper and anything else we feel like doing. It was during the muster of 2009 that John asked me when I was going to finish my Fuzzy book so he could publish it.

Whaaaat? I was stunned. I didn’t even know he was interested. That is when I got busy for real. It took me about a year and a half to get the book into a shape that I figured would be a worthwhile read. John and a few others gave me some advice and suggestions to improve the story. Around May I was informed that another author was also doing a Fuzzy book. First I thought, Cool. The more the merrier. There is always room for another Fuzzy book in the world.

In all honesty I had never heard of John Scalzi or Old Man’s War, or any of his other works. Well, he never heard of me, either, so I guess that made us even. Then I met him at the 2010 Penguicon in Troy, Michigan. Seemed like a nice enough guy and he told me I was working in the Piper Prime universe while he was working outside of that. Also cool.

I was back to work and hard at it. Scalzi and I were both doing Fuzzy books, but were working in completely different universes. I never felt that we were in competition.

The deadline John gave me was December 2010. In order to meet the deadline I had to break the story up into two books. At first I didn’t like the idea, then realized it would take at least another year to tell the entire story the way I wanted to tell it. Too many people had already expressed interest in the book (yeah, my mom, too) so I decided to end it on a cliffhanger and get busy on the second book PDQ. Prior to writing FES, I had never written more than 60,000 words on anything. FES rounded out at around 86,000 words, and Caveat Fuzzy 115,000. Not bad for a guy who does 35 words a minute with two fingers and the occasional thumb.

Any published author will tell you that, unless they are Stephen King, they have zero control on when the book will be printed and distributed. I though since the book was done in December it would be out there by January. Ah, the delusion! First it has to go through editing, re-editing, re-re-editing, galley layout, proof-reading, more editing, final layout, cover art approval, then a bunch a stuff I know nothing about before actual printing. That took another 4 months!

That my book came out the month before Scalzi’s is just happenstance. I started work long before he did (I presume, I doubt he messed with it for several years the way I did) and the only surprising thing, to me, is that it only came out a month before, and not a year or two earlier given how long I was at it.

I should point out that this is my first published work; I was not an experienced writer and could not dash off over 85,000 words in a few months. There was simply no way I could have beat Fuzzy Nation out if I started upon hearing about it. I was neither that fast nor that experienced. I am a little faster now, but I still doubt I could swing an entire book of any size in less than six months.

So, there you have it. The only coat tails I can be accused of riding, if any, are that of H. Beam Piper. Frankly, anybody writing a Fuzzy book would have to admit to the same; William Tuning, Ardath Mayhar and John Scalzi included. That doesn’t make any of us bad writers or literary thieves. It allows us to honor the man who started it all; H. Beam Piper.

One more thing. I am not commenting on another authors work, so don’t ask me what I think of Fuzzy Nation. I don’t feel it is appropriate, especially since Mr. Scalzi has shown me the same courtesy.

Wolfgang S. Diehr

Obama Screws the Military.

August 8, 2012

Every time I try to imagine that Obama is no worse than any other president he turns around and pulls something phenomenally stupid.  It was bad enough when he didn’t show the proper respect for the flag before he was elected.  Now he wants to curtail the voting rights of the men and women who keep this country safe.




Mr. Obama,


It may come as a bit of a shock to you, but soldiers don’t always have ready access to the voting stations that civilians can take for granted.  This is because they are stuck in foxholes, or in the middle of the ocean, or just plain stationed in a desert somewhere getting blown up by IEDs planted by cowards who lack the balls to face us like men. 

That means it takes them longer to get their vote in, provided they live long enough to do so.  For you to even suggest that they shouldn’t be given the extra time to make their voice heard is shocking, to say the least.

Frankly, I have never seen a sitting president work so hard to alienate the military.  If you are tired of the job, which, frankly, we are tired of seeing you pretend to do it, then get the hell out of the oval office and turn the reins over to somebody with a clue.  Namely almost anybody not in your Cabinet.




An Army Veteran.


I really can’t think of anything to add other than don’t vote for this ass-hole next election.


Wolf Rant

Facebook Timeline: Epic Fail

August 5, 2012

Like most people, I think, when Facebook first offered Timeline I simply ignored it. Why screw with something that didn’t need screwing with? Then I saw Timeline on some other people’s FB pages and instantly hated.

Well, it was their choice to use that ugly piece of shit and I simply went on with the original format. Until today.

Today, Facebook has taken the choice away from you. Apparently they don’t think you can choose for yourself like an intelligent adult. So now, you have Timeline and there is nothing you can do about it.

Actually, there is something, and I am doing it. I am cancelling Facebook and switching to Google +.

Frankly, I was sick of the bullshit like “Things about you” where you had to get coins to find out what somebody said about you. Don’t care. If somebody has an opinion about me they can tell me to my face. Not my Facebook.

So, Facebook decided to try an Epic Fail to see if people would put up with it. Unfortunately, way too many people will follow along like sheep when the shepherd rounds them up. This is how big corporations get away with shoving their crap down your throat.

We wolves will simply move on to greener pastures…after will pick off a few sheep, of course.

Good-bye, Shitbook! You will not be missed.

Wolf Rant

Bloomberg Blunder

June 6, 2012

The mayor of New York wants to limit the size of sugary soda to 16 oz to fight against obesity. HA! Make the size smaller and people will just buy more. You want a 64 oz Big Gulp but can only get a 16oz? Fine, buy four. Nothing accomplished except gouging the public.

Lets look at this another way. This is supposed to be America were people are supposed to be responsible for their own lives. We are forced to wear seatbelts and motorcycle helmets. Back in the 20s we were not allowed to drink alcohol. All that did was give a hell of a lot of money to bootleggers. I imagine New Yorkers will flock over to New Jersey to get their two liter fix forcing Bloomberg to institute car searches for people coming into the city. Bootlegger will load up their vans and sell sodas in back alleys. Soda companies will get big time money by selling twice as many 12oz cans (can you say collusion? I knew you could.)

Thank whatever deity you like that I don’t live in New York. I don’t do sugary sodas, anyway, but I simply will not tolerate being told what I can and cannot buy from the grocery store.

The Gay Lantern?

June 6, 2012

Anybody who has followed my blog knows I have no problem with gays or gays being allowed to marry (they should be allowed to be as miserable as the rest of us) or any other group regardless of race or religion. Everybody is equal. So my oncoming rant should not be considered a gripe against gays.

WTF is DC thinking remaking an established character gay? Do they think that makes it more PC? If you want to make some gay characters, feel free. My problem is changing up long standing characters. I was against Heimdall being played by a black man in the Thor movie becaus it flew in the face of long established myth. I would have been equally outraged if an African Deity had been played by Arnold Schwarzenagger. It just doesn’t fit. Actually, the actor did a pretty good job and was cool to watch, but he just wasn’t blond enough to be a Norse God. Period.

Making Green Lantern gay after, what, 70 years of being straight, is ludicrous. That is one hell opf a long time to stay in the closet. Better to make a new and unique character gay. If DC really wanted to be bold they could have had Batman and Robin come out of the closet as suggested by Frederick Wertham in “Seduction of the Innocent.” Better yet, have Superman reveal that he is Jewish. It worked out okay for Ben Grimm. Why not? His creators were both Jewish, but back in the 30s it wouldn’t have sold.

Green Arrow as gay I would almost buy. With his constant womanizing he has to be covering up for something. Frankly, super-heroes spent decades without love lives or even genitalia, now we have to remake them into something else just to be PC? Sheeeeeeeit! Fine, why stop there? Lets have some bi-sexual super-heroes. Tony Stark and Hercules would both be candidates for that. Wonder Woman should be a lesbian given that she came from an island with nothing but women.

My real point is that they can make all the new gay heroes they want. Prior to the relaunch Obsidion, Green Lanterns son, was gay. He was a cool, if bi-polar character. DON’T SCREW WITH THE CLASSICS!

Wolf Rant